Between the World and Me
Through the lense of the Hierarchy of Needs
In Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates, he writes:
“Black people love their children with a kind of obsession. You are all we have and you come to us endangered. I think we would like to kill you ourselves before seeing you killed by the streets that America made.”
I’d like to explore this quote by utilizing Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs as a tool illustrate Coate’s philosophy regarding parental discipline. First I’ll touch on how his philosophy compares to my own. Then, I’ll analyze why this form of discipline might be influenced by Coates’s perceived lack of control over his child.
Coates’s description of behavior, discipline, and punishment within the black community is incomparable to my own philosophy. As a child of immigrant parents who sought refuge in a new country, there were many sacrifices that were made in order to thrive. These sacrifices meant that we may have lost control over some psychological needs.
Needs relating to esteem and belonging were not nurtured because my parents worked tirelessly every day of the week. They didn’t have the time or energy to provide emotional support. Although unfortunate, we were still able to ascend the hierarchy of needs beyond that of black individuals in America.
Black people don’t have control over their safety and security because their bodies can be destroyed at the hand of the police. This is the reduction of their humanity by cutting away their basic needs, the foundation of Maslow’s Hierarchy. The level of parental discipline Coates explains is reminiscent of the novel Beloved where “a mother best expresses her love for her children by murdering them and thus protecting them from the more gradual destruction wrought by slavery” [1].
Murdering your child is an incomprehensible thought. Protecting your child from the gradual torture of slavery is instinctual. What if the only perceived solution to protect your child is through the incomprehensible? Perhaps Coates must do the incomprehensible, Coates must harshly discipline, to attempt to control what he ultimately cannot. I think that pondering this question sheds some light on how Coates’s philosophy in discipline is influenced by their lack of control over their own safety and the safety of their children.
Highlights
“You are growing into consciousness, and my wish for you is that you feel no need to constrict yourself to make other people comfortable.”
“I would not have you descend into your own dream. I would have you be a conscious citizen of this terrible and beautiful world.”
“To yell ‘black-on-black crime’ is to shoot a man and then shame him for bleeding.”